Written on 24 June 2021
I am a first-time dad and I am scared! Is it normal?
Here are a few things that could be bothering you, as well as some methods to put them in perspective:
Some men have seen videos of women going in labour for hours, sobbing, and clenching their teeth. In this situation, you feel helpless to aid your partner. However, it's critical for a father to feel like he's a part of the delivery process.
Of course, expectant mothers put forth the most effort during childbirth, but fathers also play an important role. You will have to watch out for your partner's requirements. Long before the due date, talk to your spouse about pain management, medication, and treatment choices. This will make you more connected with your partner and will decrease your fear.
Some fathers are concerned that becoming a parent would mean an end to partying & travelling. You might worry that you will finally have to become a "responsible adult." Concerns about not being able to visit friends, dine out, or do any of the social activities, might scare you off.
Having a baby can change your viewpoint towards life. You will have a good time once you start spending hours with your baby. And just because you are a father doesn't mean you'll never go out with friends again. It just takes meticulous planning and scheduling of work.
For many men, baby care is just a foreign notion, which is why birthing classes exist. You can start taking lessons as early as the 12th week of pregnancy, depending on what's available in your region. The majority of programs include how to change a diaper, handle a baby, feed, and burp a baby. They even teach how to put a baby to sleep, install a car seat, and childproof your house. They even walk you through the process of labour.
Along with the courses, you'll meet other first-time fathers who are going through the same feelings. Communicate with them as they are dealing with similar emotions too.
For soon-to-be fathers, finances might be a major issue. Even if your family has health insurance, having a kid comes with a lot of expenses. You have to think about diapers, food, child care, braces, bicycles, allowances, and college.
So, what you can do is make a list of your income and spending. Determine which expenditures are required and which may be avoided. For large-ticket items like education, time is on your side. You may save money by investing in stocks, bonds, or a money market account.
Keep in mind that you won't have to deal with every aspect of fatherhood at once. A lot of parenting in the first few years includes skills learned in birthing classes. It's similar just to other new roles you will play in your life. You have abundant time until you have to impose curfews, educate your child to drive, or give relationship and career advice. When these opportunities will arrive, you will feel like as if it is coming naturally. You will not feel any additional pressure for this.
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