139 Week Old Toddler: Your Toddler's Development and Your Recovery This Week

Tantrums at this age are not a sign something is wrong, they are a sign the brain is working hard.

Big feelings are overwhelming a small, still-developing thinking brain. Screaming, flopping, kicking, going boneless on the floor, all very normal. Most toddlers peak at tantrums between 18 months and 3 years, and they fade as language and self-control grow.

• Keep yourself calm first. Deep breath. Remind yourself they are not trying to ruin your day.
• Skip the long explanations during the storm, the thinking brain is offline
• Stay close, stay quiet, keep them safe. A soft "I am here" is plenty
• Once they are calmer, a short cuddle and "that was hard" helps
• Talk about it later, a few hours or the next day, when they can actually hear

• Reasoning, lecturing, bargaining mid-tantrum
• "Stop crying", they cannot
• Bribes with treats or phones, works once, creates the next tantrum
• Matching their volume, it escalates
• Walking off for long stretches, some toddlers need to see you nearby

• Talk to your pediatrician if tantrums are daily and lasting more than 25 minutes, happening many times a day, causing injury to themselves or others, or if a toddler past 3 or 4 is still melting down frequently at this intensity. Otherwise, this phase passes. Truly.

• Tantrums going past 25 minutes regularly, head-banging that breaks skin, or breath-holding spells, mention these at the next pediatrician visit.

• Indian weddings, festivals, and large gatherings can overwhelm a toddler, loud music, late nights, lots of laps, sweets everywhere. Plan a quiet corner, an early exit, and do not expect best behaviour. They are doing their best in a lot of stimulation.

Mid-storm on the living room floor, it can feel like you are failing, but you are the safe harbour in a very loud sea. This too is toddler development doing exactly what it should. The calm you offer today becomes the calm they carry for life.

Around 36 months. Tantrums at 3 years, usually fewer than at 18 months but bigger when they happen.

What's happening for you

• A 3-year-old tantrum is a different beast, they have words but not control. They can argue, escalate, hold grudges briefly.

Things that often help

• Stay calm-faced (their nervous system mirrors yours)
• Name the feeling
• Don't engage in mid-tantrum logic
• Hold firm on the "no" if you've already said no
• Hug after the storm passes

For mum's stress

• Year-3 mum-stress is different. Less physical, more emotional. Real food, real sleep, daily movement still matter, but so does therapy if patterns feel stuck.

Eating well

• Three meals + two snacks. Magnesium-rich foods (almonds, jaggery, dark chocolate).

Worth flagging

• Tantrums going past 25 minutes regularly, head-banging that breaks skin, breath-holding spells, harming self or animals, talk to the pediatrician. Most are normal range; some benefit from behavioural support.

Indian-context note

• Indian families default to fear-based discipline more often than not. Calm consistent limits work better long-term. Therapy with a parent-coaching focus can help break generational patterns. Books, "The Whole Brain Child", "How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen", also help.

Indian-tradition tip

• Pranayama for emotional regulation, yours, not toddler's. 5 minutes of bhramari before bed. 10 minutes of anulom-vilom in the morning. Your nervous system rebuilds calm with practice.

Indian-mum reminder

• You're not aiming for perfect. You're aiming for repair-able. A bad moment is fine if you repair after.

Indian-mum reality

• The "perfect mum" pressure in Indian society is intense. Tune it out where you can. The right mum is the one who shows up calm, fed, rested and present. Not the one who looks perfect on Instagram.

Some evenings you will close the bedroom door and wonder if anyone else finds this hard, and they do. Parenting a toddler asks for a patience nobody is born with; it gets built, one repaired moment at a time. Be as gentle with yourself as you are learning to be with them.